Are Children a Blessing or a Burden?

When I began my blog writing in the Spring of 2025, I resolved that my content would not be focused on stories about my family. It was my view that there would be little general interest in stories about my family. Moreover, I believed that family matters are best kept within the family. However, in this week’s blog, I plan to depart from this principle as I discuss a topic which is getting a lot of attention these days in the popular press and social media.

I find it rather easy to read articles these days documenting the falling birth rate in the United States, Western Europe, Russia, as well as in China, Japan, and other nations in Asia. There are several reasons given to account for this development. The reasons I read about most often is the delay for couples in getting married or not getting married at all and the cost of having children. But there is another reason I hear about from time to time which I believe many individuals would be reluctant to admit and discuss publicly. This is the belief that having children would detract from career achievement and personal pleasure with hobbies and leisure activities. I encountered this issue full square this past weekend, and I feel compelled to share this experience for the benefit of others who may be considering this issue.

My young adult son and I were returning home early Saturday evening after watching our favorite college football team win an exciting game on a blistering hot Saturday afternoon when he asked me a question which just floored me. But it should not have floored me because I have learned over the years that my kids ask the deepest and most prescient questions at the most unexpected times. In this case, the question went something like this: “Dad, do you believe having kids set you back from what you wanted to accomplish in your career and with your leisure activities?” Thankfully, this was one of the easiest questions my son or daughter had ever asked me. I immediately answered and told him that having him and his sister was by far one of the greatest blessings God had given me in my life. As I shared with him, my wife and I married late in life with our son born when I was 46 and our daughter adopted from China when I was 50. At that point in my life, I was skeptical that I would ever be a father and have children. Thankfully, God had better plans for me than I could ever have had for myself!

My son then asked me if I regretted giving anything up as part of the sacrifice of having and raising children. Once again, it was an easy question to answer. To be sure, it was necessary to establish priorities and enforce discipline in my schedule as my wife and I went about raising kids when many of our peers were becoming grandparents. I can certainly confirm that energy is not the same at age 50 as it was at age 30! But the blessing of having kids enriched my personal life and professional life exponentially in a way that I could never have imagined. My son then asked me if any some way having kids gave me a “second wind” for energy and activity?” I told him that I was certain that it did. Seeing my kids come to faith in Jesus Christ; attain athletic and academic achievements that I never came close to achieving; and now moving on with their lives respectively in college ministry and nursing is indeed a dream come true!

So, for any couples debating whether having children is worth the time, effort, sacrifice, and cost, let me put your mind at ease. If my experience is in some way representative, your rate of return on investment in having children will be 1,000%. I do not believe any of the tech companies can top that!

God bless you and thank you for the privilege of your time in reading my blog.

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