A Father’s Day Message As I reflect on Father’s Day, several thoughts come to mind. I know that the Lord in his abundant grace has blessed Cathy and me with two great kids. We both agree that we do no

A Father’s Day Message

As I reflect on Father’s Day, several thoughts come to mind. I know that the Lord in his abundant grace has blessed Cathy and me with two great kids. We both agree that we do not deserve them! Both kids know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, and both are walking consistently in their Christian faith. My son is serving in a campus ministry on a large state university with my daughter soon to begin her senior year of college and complete her degree in nursing. I am confident that they will, as they have done consistently over the years, overlook my numerous short comings as a father and express their love and appreciation to me on Father’s Day just as they do on a “regular” day. One of the countless joys of being a dad!

I believe that some of my short comings as a father over the years are easy to identify. Unnecessary anger, impatience, failure to be a good listener, and desire to exert undue influence or control as kids grow and reach young adulthood. But in reading 2 Samuel recently, I am reminded of an even greater and more egregious sin that I have been guilty on occasion and which I believe is a great temptation for many fathers. What is this sin? It is the sin of passivity. 1 Samuel 13:14, describes King David as a man after God’s own heart, but the book of 2 Samuel makes clear that David’s passivity became a consistent stumbling block for David as a father and even as the head of state of the nation of Israel. 2 Samuel 3:26 -31 details the brutal murder of David’s military leader by a rival. David was heartbroken by this event but took no action beyond weeping. 2 Samuel 13: 21-22 states that David was angry when David’s son Amnon raped David’s daughter Tamar but took no action against Amnon which engendered hate, anger, and resentment toward Amnon by David’s other son Absalom. 2 Samuel 13:23-29 describes David’s failure to exercise self-awareness and caution in failing to assert himself as a participant in a family project and thus provide an opportunity for Absalom to arrange for the murder of Amnon as revenge for Amnon’s rape of Tamar. 2 Samuel 14 describes how David was largely passive and disengaged when Joab his military leader arranged for Absalom to return to Jerusalem from exile after the murder of Amnon and soon launch an unsuccessful coup attempt against King David.

Why was passivity a problem for King David as a father and why is it a problem for many fathers today? I firmly believe that there is in many men a predisposition for passivity and a desire to avoid conflict. It was the case with Adam in the Garden of Eden in Genesis Chapter 3 just as it was for King David in 2 Samuel. It has surely been the case for me. Passivity must be acknowledged, understood, and, where required, addressed by fathers who have this predisposition. After dealing with the challenges, conflicts, political intrigue, and other demands of work and career and perhaps the needs of aging parents daily, how many fathers are eager to come home and roll up their sleeves and deal with issues regarding smart phones, such as what age to allow kids to have a smart phone and what parental controls should be implemented? How many fathers want to be involved in dress code decisions, particularly with their daughters? I could add curfews, cars, and spending money to the list. Do peer pressure kids receive from other kids add to these challenges? I must confess that in many instances I have allowed passivity to rule in my life and have failed these challenges in letting my family down but even more importantly failing to fulfill my Biblical duties and responsibilities as a Christian father.

Where does a Christian husband and father go from here as leader of his family? Begin by understanding your strengths and weaknesses. Do you have a tendency toward passivity, particularly in family relations as was the case with King David? If so, be aware of it and be vigilant in dealing with it. You should not hesitate to reach out to a Godly Christan male friend for advice and counsel. Do not be too proud to ask your wife to help you. She understands your strengths and weaknesses better than anyone else. Be sure to give her permission space to speak truth to you even if it is not pleasant to receive. But most importantly, do not neglect the most important resources available to you. Spend time daily in prayer asking God for strength and wisdom. God promises in James 1:5 to provide this resource. Make time daily or as often as you possibly can to study Scripture, both the Old and New Testament. Scripture is brutally honest in detailing the triumphs, struggles, and failures of God’s people who came before you and had challenges similar that you now have. Learn from this study of Scripture and live out this knowledge from God’s word each day.

God bless you and thank you for the privilege of your time in reading this blog.