A 2026 Fathers Day Message

I vividly recall a conversation I had with a dear friend over 30 years ago as we discussed his new infant son and the work, effort, and sleepless nights involved. At the time, I was still single and naively remarked to my friend that he would soon have things much easier when his son began sleeping through the night and there were less demands placed on my friend and his wife. My friend quickly replied that, while it would be great when his son began sleeping through the night, there are always new and different challenges for kids in each stage of life. At the time, I had a difficult time understanding what my friend was trying to tell me. But fast forward about 35 years when I now have a son and daughter in their 20s, I can fully appreciate my friend’s wise counsel!

For me, fatherhood has been the best job I have ever had and the most challenging. I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that being a father has made me aware of strengths I may have not fully understood and glaring weaknesses that I had sought to ignore and hide! For the sake of some younger fathers, let me share a couple things I believe I did right and a couple things I did wrong. I have condensed the list of wrong things so this blog will not be unduly long and embarrassing! But let me emphasize to all young fathers the importance of the words found in Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”. If you do this right, most other things will also fall in line. 

1.        For both kids, my wife and I were very intentional in reading Scripture to them and seeking to help them develop a knowledge and understanding of Jesus Christ with the opportunity to come to saving faith in Christ at an early age. This was not always a popular undertaking with them at the time, but I believe both would agree that it was positive and was important for them in coming to faith in Christ at an early age.

2.        Like their dad, both kids were not particularly gifted in math. While dad was glad to get a gentlemen’s C in math and had no tutoring opportunities available to him, both kids took advantage of tutoring opportunities and usually climbed the ladder for consistent A grades. We made education a high priority for our kids, and they responded very well.

3.        Unlike their dad, both kids showed some early athletic promise which gave dad a second chance to vicariously experience some athletic success that he never experienced. Unfortunately, dad could not get enough of their success so he pushed them hard, got private skill lessons for them, and made their club and high school sports far more important in their lives than it should have been for them. They now understand this just as I understand it, and I am sure they will do much better when they have kids of their own.

4.        In my own growing up years, I certainly had all the things I needed in terms of food, clothing, and shelter, but not everything I may have wanted. I firmly believe the temptation for most dads is to provide material things in their kid’s lives which dads believe was a deficit in their growing up experience.  Today, I see clear evidence that my kids understand my tendency toward indulgence and will surely strike a much better balance when they have their own kids than I did with them. I would encourage all fathers to place a high priority in communicating to their kids the important value of work as Genesis Chapter 1 relates.

As I now move apace in my 70^th decade, two thoughts emerge with a sense of urgency regarding fatherhood which I share frequently with both of my kids. As fully grown and capable young adult kids in their 20s, their relationship and need for me as a father has changed and my relationship and need for them has also changed. Simply stated, I want very much to be part of their lives, and I need very much for them to be part of my life. God has blessed me enormously with them and I am thankful every day for them.

God bless you and thank you for the privilege of your time in reading my blog.

A Father in his 70s with his 20 something kids!